Time to Say: Fuck Nintendo!

Remember how Nintendo always pretends to guise the clothes of the only consumer-friendly company in a world of sharks? Well FUCK THAT!

First of all, yes. Nintendo sometimes pulls of good shit such as the Xenoblade Chronicle games or the Zelda games – although quite often you feel they would get -10% points were they released on more advanced systems. Take Breath of the Wild – great phyiscs and a big open world, something unseen on a Nintendo system. But not exactly innovative in any way. We’ve seen physics before, we’ve seen open worlds before, we’ve seen a stamina system before. And we’ve sure as hell seen breakable weapons before, although hardly ever that ridiculously.

But – apart from that, Nintendo is an incredibly backwards company (just look at their 50s style family presentations in their games) and above all, they rip off their blind sheepish fans wherever they can – and always get a way with it!

How, you ask? Well, imagine Sony games would never get cheaper. Look on Amazon for the price of Breath of the Wild – 50 quid. For a game that was releases way over a year ago! Imagine Sony selling controllers for 60 quid – and that’s the “Joy-Cons” (imagine frustrated folks buying them thinking they bought a dildo …). But the motherfucking icing on the shit cake is this, quoting Eurogamer’s slightly rose-tinted article about the terrible Switch online service (more on that below):

the gall to present those £49.99 NES controllers – which only work with the NES app and not with other games – as a privilege, something that Sony or Microsoft would surely never have the gall to attempt

Funny, isn’t it? Imagine Microsoft designing a retro Xbox controller that ONLY works with original Xbox games. Sounds fucking stupid now, doesn’t it?

And then that shambolic online service. First, you need a phone app for voice chat. If only a console could handle that … Second, you can back up some of your saves now that you have to pay to play online, but as soon as you don’t feel like paying, Nintendo fucking deletes all your cloud saves straight away! How fucked up is that?

But let’s be clear – Microsoft and Sony and their paid online is as fucked. We’ve become used to pay for a service that is often still utter shit. And Nintendo joining them doesn’t make Nintendo worse (in this regard). But – Nintendo isn’t better. Nintendo isn’t the motherfucking knight in shining armour rescuing gamers in distress from the evil dragons Sony and Microsoft. Nintendo is just the same, and when it comes to online, Nintendo is incompetent as fuck on top of the shit cake they’re all eating together.

But couple this with ridiculously overpriced pricing for peripheral devices, couple that with the always extremely high prices to buy their games, and we see the combined result: A greedy company leeching its devout fan base on a level only EA and Activision reach, while pretending to be completely different wearing the family friendly colourful disguise of someone who almost credibly cares. So here it is: Fuck Nintendo!

 

How Sony is losing A War Already Won

Sony, a word! We got a problem. You wiped the floor with Microsoft, remember how we laughed and share jokes and had fun back then? They were praising always-online, Kinect, they lost touch with us – the gamers, the consumers. You stepped in and said your console is “for the players”!

We believed you, Sony, we did. We were grateful. But now, we have stopped believing you. Why? Oh, there are quite a few reasons to be suspicious of you, old friend:

Take PSN Now for example. All those games you had fun with on your PS3, good news is, we can play them again on your PS4 – bad news though, we have to pay for them once more. Really! Meanwhile look at the backwards compatibility introduced for the One; every game supported by it only requires you to put in the disc once, and voilà, they can stream the game instantly – no extra cost included. On top of that, every 360 game on Gold is made backwards compatible and playable as well, while the PS3 games on PSN+ are just for our PS3 …

Speaking of PSN+, remember Sony announcing to raise the price for PSN+ – for nothing in return? Yes, we still get shitty download speeds, a broken infrastructure on the PS3 (navigating the Store there is a nightmare) and as usual, no news about any improvements. But at least we got better “free”* games for October with the Resident Evil remake and Transformers Devastation on offer. At least times of these fucking super-cheap 2D rogue-like pixelated games seem to be finally over!

Denying us mods in Fallout 4 and Skyrim … man, that’s probably the bitterest pill to swallow here, old friend – if you have a Xbox One, you can enjoy mods in both games, as simple as that – but Sony, oh no, Sony seems to be insisting on being a fucking dumbass party pooper, yelling “thanks for your money, now bugger off” at all of us. What the hell? There’s not even an explanation from you, mate! Don’t you think you owe us that at least?

It is clear now that No Man’s Sky is a train wreck, but after promoting it heavily, Sony now is abandoning No Man’s Sky and leaves the game studio to rot. Hell, Sony, you even hinted youhad nothing to do with the promotion of the game, which seeing you promoted it heavily as an exclusive sounds just like a reeking lie!

Rabdigames wonders: After wiping the floor with Microsoft at the beginning of this generation, Sony, you won the war. But now, it seems FOR THE PLAYERS turned into FUCK THE PLAYERS, and Sony is hellbent on losing all advantages and even the war to Microsoft.

Make no mistakes, Microsoft learned a lot and improved relations with their customers by introducing sensible things like, you know introducing backwards compatibility and promoting and allowing mods in games. And yes, Scorpio looks so much stronger than the useless PS4 Pro already …

So old friend, you know we spent generations together, but one last question: Sony, do you even still care about us, or have you abandoned us like you abandoned Non Man’s Sky?

*Disclaimer: Don’t let Microsoft and Sony fool you, the monthly games are not, and have never been “free”. Whatever anyone says, first you pay the subscription, then, and only then, you’re allowed to play them – as long as your subscription is active. Clearly, this is not the definition of “free”, right?

Of Exclusivity Whores and Their Manufacturer Pimps

Exclusives mostly suck. Not quality-wise, but from the customer’s view. No MGS4, Ni Nu Kuni, Uncharted or Infamous on the 360. No Fable, Forza, State of Decay or Alan Wake on the PS3. No Nintendo games anywhere else. Instead of one console from one manufacturer, we need three consoles to play all the games we want to play. Yes, that sucks. Completely.

But recently, it has gotten worse. Now, 3rd parties jump the exclusivity bandwagon, and no one profits but greedy publishers cashing in big time on exclusive deals. As a matter of fact, they are whoring themselves out to the pimps who want us to buy all consoles available. The only proper reaction from us should be a not-so-gentle “FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS!”

Mind you, Bayonetta 2 does not really count here. A developer usually needs money to work on a game. If Nintendo jumps in to finance an otherwise dead game, fair enough. It still doesn’t make sense to sell only a fragment of the copies on a console that doesn’t even cater to games like Bayonetta, but whatever. If it’s game made or game not made, okay.

However, when it comes to Rise of The Romb Raider or StreetFighter 5, we are all fucked, in fact double-fucked. The whores and the pimps alike shall grin at us while we pay for exclusive rights to have fun with a specific whore soon.

But the most appalling thing is that Square Enix and Capcom want to make us believe they are that poor they NEED that whore money from Microsoft and Sony. Yeah, right. Do you think we are really that dumb to believe that? If you go to the street to sell out yourselves, be at least fucking honest why you succumb to prostitution. Fucking liars!

Rabidgames spits: Shame on all parties involved. Simple as that. That’s all.

Microsoft Fucking it Up Again: EA Access and Exclusivity

Microsoft never changes … Last year, they wanted to tell us once-a-day-online-duty, no more selling games and kinect were the future of gaming – and guess what, they were wrong. Granted, they have seen the error of their ways, but still they want nothing but to fuck us over again and again.

This year, their alleged contempt for gamers – their paying customers after all – is revealed once more during Gamescom. First, EA Access. At first glance, it sounds awesome: All your EA games for just 5 per month, or 20 per year! Amazing, right? Well, guess what: Not all EA games are included. Dragon Age: Inquisition, for instance, is not. So why paying money for old games? And what about DLC? Would you pay 6 pounds a month for Netflix if you had to pay extra for the second part of Breaking Bad’s final (and best ever) season? Would you?

Furthermore, imagine the likes of Activision, Ubisoft, 2K, Bethesda, Square Enix, Deep Silver and many more following the footsteps of EA – all of a sudden, you pay 50 pounds each month for your online gaming library (most likely NOT having the new AAA releases you’re yearning to play)! And that’s where awesome turns to awful … Not so great now, isn’t it? Besides, it’s EA. What about old games? Imagine you love FIFA 14 but not FIFA 15 for whatever reason, and then EA says bye-bye and switches off the servers. Your game is gone. That’s it. Not so great after all, right?

Second, the even bigger disaster without a doubt: MS proudly announced that Rise of the Tomb Raider would be a Xbox One exclusive – we all know the shitstorm that followed. Then Phil Spencer, that sorry PR tool, announced it’ll only be a timed-exclusivity deal, which makes it slightly better.

Still, that decision does not even make fucking sense! It pissed off everybody. Plus, no one wins. MS won’t hardly get any Xbox One sold – Tomb Raider might be a big franchise, but if you run Tomb Raider against Uncharted, well, you’ll lose. Plus, MS is back where they have tried to escape from for on year – many gamer’s scorn is upon them once more. They now have the reputation of giving a fuck about what we want, while Sony is “from gamers for gamers”. Of course, we know this is bullshit and both are corporations that want nothing but our money, but Sony has learned to sell this the nice way: A happy customers gives you more cash.

Square Enix on the other hand, oh poor, misguided naive Square Enix: you may have gained a couple of millions from MS, yes, but the PS4 is leading the next-gen sales, and it has better exclusives and more power to stay ahead in the long run! Square Enix, why do you bet on the weak horse? And why on earth you would even want to pit Tomb Raider against Uncharted, no one knows. The really puzzling thing though is the fact you were disappointed with last Tomb Raider’s sales – so your reaction is to halve the sales at launch and to compete against a direct rival? Give us a break, that’s insane! And yes, many PS4 gamers might be put off enough by your prostitution to kindly not give a shit about Tomb Raider in the future.

After all, it seems Microsoft has learned absolutely nothing. Getting in bed with the EA devil might work out now in the short term, but while they profit, us gamers might lose, our udders milked to the last drop once more. True, Rabidgames might be wrong and it’ll be fine, but come on, it’s fucking EA! Just take a look at their lists of casualties last generation, couple it with the fact they threw away every interesting franchise but poor and now crippled Bioware, and there is much more room for fear than hope!

Same goes for exclusives – be it timed or permanent ones, be it full titles or DLC. It’s all bullshit! There are no advantages whatsoever for us gamers, unless we succumb to the immensely stupid fanboy console war folly. We all lose out.

Rabidgames wonders: Sometimes, it seems Microsoft wants to lose. They play EA’s willing whore while pimping Square Enix, creating shitstorm after shitstorm – while Sony calmly smiles from the side-line and enjoys gamers flocking to their console. Quite ironic it was exactly the other way round last gen …

When Sony Won!

Remember Microsoft’s E3 presentation, when they were avoiding all questions regarding their Big Brother Xbox One?

Well, Sony answered some pressing questions – and everyone loved some answers in particular:

That hurts, Microsoft (or rather Microsmart), doesn’t it? To rub it in, Sony even published a video stating the difficult and technically sophisticated process of borrowing games to your friends:

Rabidgames relaxes: If Sony was telling then truth, the war is already over. Without spying on you, forcing you to authenticate your games each 24 hours and putting restrictions on your right to sell stuff you fucking own, it was an easy win for Sony. Nonetheless, it seems to pay off to listen to us, the customers, not to greedy publishers.

Thank you Sony.

The Annual E3 Hype

Here we are again: It’s E3 around the door, and everyone’s expecting to get to see … well, everything.
Same business as every year.

But remember last year: Was it that great? Microsoft trying to sell Kinect, Sony showcasing the Vita … the best performance surely was done by Nintendo, showing off a new console by only portraying the controller.

So what about E3 2012? Here are Rabidgames’ predictions:

• Microsoft will Kinect the shit out of us again. No new console.
• Sony will try to breathe life into the Vita (probably with PS3 cross-games). No new console.
• Nintendo will tell us how awesome their Wii U is without actually telling us anything about it.

That leaves the publishers.

We already know some new Gears of War is in the making, Dead Space 3 will be officially announced, and maybe Valve will finally unveil Half-Life 3. So that might be the more interesting part then.

Rabidgames is bored: Live streams, news on each gaming sites, all for shit bits of information, that’s the E3 for you. Maybe 2012 will be different but why would anyone assume? Let’s get surprised … or bored …