Imagine famous movies with a Mass Effect 3 ending

We all enjoyed Mass Effect 3’s vague and inexplicable ending, didn’t we?
Now, let’s think what would have happened if the following famous movies ended with unforeseeable twists and ludicrous turns …

Let’s embark on an unimaginable journey:

 

Star Wars

Alright, when Luke is fighting the Emperor aboard the Death Star, time freezes and an unknown deity appears from out of nowhere. It gives Luke two choices: Either he sacrifices the lives of all people(s) in the entire system, yet the Republic wins, or Luke becomes the new Emperor in secrecy. Of course, there’s a catch: Whatever Luke does, the force will vanish. Why? It’s the way it is, says the deity.
Oh yeah, Han Solo panics and leaves the battle. Yet, the Millennium Falcon gets damaged by space magic and crash-lands on an unknown planet.

Also, neither Han Solo nor Greedo shot first – the famous first shot was a reflected laser shot from a cloaked C3PO who happens to be an assassin robot in one hell of a disguise, working for Yoda’s evil twin.

 

Blade Runner

So, Harrison Ford finds out he is a replicant himself. In reality, replicants are the natives of earth while they just bred organic beings for their own comfort. He has the choice to make everyone aware of this reverse life, or he kills himself, slaying the truth but preserving artistic integrity. Whatever happens, oxygen will become sparse.

 

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Of course, Adolf Hitler is there when the Nazis open the Ark of the Covenant. Instead of killing them, the Ark merges all Nazis into a giant super robot with Hitler as its moustache. Indy can beat them off by following Moses’ ghost into a surreal world which happens to be god’s insane mind. Nazibot’s Achilles heel turns out to be an arrow to the knee. Wounded, the Nazis flee to the moon – only to return in Iron Sky! Due to those miraculous events, the universe stops expanding.

 

Alien

The Alien queen tells Ripley telepathically she is the last one of an intergalactic guardian race which is to prevent aggressive races such as humanity to colonise space. Ripley can then decide to synthesize with the Alien queen to create a new, powerful hybrid for the greater good, or she destroys the queen and dooms the universe. Whatever happens, human piss turns from yellow to blue.

 

Matrix

Alright when Neo finds out … well, who is Rabidgames kidding? The end of the Matrix trilogy (aka everything but the original flick) is way worse than the one of Mass Effect 3 … plus, the first movie is missing a green pill!

 

Rabidgames broods: What does define a game or a movie? Special effects, the plot, the end? All of it? What is it people will remember? Would the above movies still be considered classics by their fans if the endings would not have made any sense whatsoever?

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One Response to “Imagine famous movies with a Mass Effect 3 ending”

  1. Juanello C. Professional Says:

    I laughed my ass off. Very well put, and imaginative. I actually was thinking how much SW would suck with a ME3 style ending.

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