German media and video games

Those Germans and video games … oh well, it is a long story that could easily fill a damn weighty tome …

In general, the German media have regarded video games either as mere kids’ toys no sane adult should ever touch (yes, it is 2011 in Germany, too) or as mind-numbing, brain-seducing and highly dangerous disease that fills the minds of toddlers and everybody else – in fact, even the German government treats each and every adult as a teething toddler by giving less than a shit about the pan European PEGI system.

How? Germany created a government shady agency whose one and only goal it is to rate video games. And if they don’t like it, they refuse a rating which results in a commercial embargo which basically means virtually no shop will sell the game. Even more, the very games that have been rated before (some games might have lost some of its violent or gory contents by then) can be completely banned later on.
Arbitrary insanity you ask?
For sure, at least from any thinking adult’s perspective.

The German media and their comrades, the Holy Protectors of the youth’s feeble minds, even coined the perilous term “killer games” (“Killerspiele” in German). Imagine a whole army of Jack Thompsons. Imagine prestigious news magazines which usually deal with politics telling you something about “that killer game GTA where you can rape and kill prostitutes” (to be fair, the kill part is true). Imagine a society where a lunatic organisation provides bins where you can get rid of your killer games.
Completely insane, aren’t they?

Anyway, Rabidgames proudly presents a new chapter:
During the Gamescom 2011, a nation-wide German TV channel called RTL (the equivalent to the UK’s ITV – in its shallow approach to satisfy the needs of a mysteriously stupid audience as well as in its denial to even give serious journalism a try) paid the Gamescom a visit. It should be added that the show that visited the Gamescom usually fishes in the roaring shallow waters of celebrity gossip and similar bollocks.

What happens if such a show tries to cover games? Well, you get the result: Gamers stink. Literally.
Yes, they mean it. They portray gamers as people who spend all their money on games which means your ordinary gamer
a) does not buy razors which means he never shaves
b) never cuts his hair
c) is too busy playing to ever take a shower.

Well, you might think it is a satirical approach – until a semi-bulimic model shows up who explains her excruciating agony and revulsion. That poor pure being had to suffer one day among those hordes of filthy animals who apparanently never speak to women! Poor girl. And she proves to be an expert of human nature since she is able to easily classify gamers: Either they are dirty freaks or they are filthy freaks. Some of them are just freaks … Alright, alright, we shouldn’t blame that poor girl for her innocent ignorance. She has clearly been misguided by years of misinformation and killer games hysteria, a disease which is highly contagious in people who have never laid hands onto a controller in their entire lives.

Rabidgames says: Thank you RTL, thank you very much for giving proof how retarded and obsolete your view actually is. If your point was to prove a new level of ignorance is always possible, congratulations, you succeeded. But don’t you worry, Rabidgames is absolutely positive you will be able to exceed all expectations again soon.

We demand a journalistic masterpiece on those killer games in the near future.

Due to the cowardice of that TV channel, all videos showing this piece of slander are subject of deletion regularly. Instead of giving one link, Rabidgames recommends searching for the tags “RTL” and “Gamescom 2011”. The only problem is you must be able to understand German.


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